maya klausner

Name: Maya Klausner

Profession: Stand Up Comedian

Current project: Trying to sell a pilot and develop emotions.


What makes you happy: Making people laugh until they cry (or the other way around), winning the affection of hecklers by empathizing with them, eating mass quantities of cheese, spooning with puppies, getting pretty much anyone to give me a head massage, thinking about tattoos, motorcycles, everything Larry David touches, anything that’s free, Audrey Hepburn, fitting into a skinny dude’s jeans without perspiring, going longer than a week without throwing my computer down the stairs, going longer than a day without dropping my phone in a bowl of soup.

What is something you want to tell people but it sounds real douchey of you: I tan pretty well I guess.

What are you afraid of: Commitment. And murderers.

What are you wearing. Right. Now. Go: Humane Society member tee-shirt and underpants.

I say: Childhood. Summer. You say: Gushers.

Wish you had the guts to: Certain drugs. But I’m too Jewish and anxious.

Working with EMMA: Undoubtedly. By unleashing some amorphous, potent voodoo power that convinces you that you are without a question the hottest being on the planet. (This feeling doesn’t last forever unfortunately) I would say aroused and a little hungry. (This one does).

See Maya's Mini EMMA Session here!